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Twenty One Important things in Life ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least 6 months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. **Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.**
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. **Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.**
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone. Roosevelt said 'First I was dying to finish high school and start college.
And then I was dying to finish college and start working.
Then I was dying to marry and have children.
And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I could go back to work.
But then I was dying to retire.
And now, I am dying . . . And suddenly I realized I forgot to live.' Management Lessons Lesson Number One
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Number Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with Nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the Tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Number Three
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions." The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss.
So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.
Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Management Lesson
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.
Lesson Number Four
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Lesson
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut! Marathi Kavita for all of u who understand Marathi... Aai baba sangtat lokanna tath theun collar
Mulga shiktoy USA la, pahilyapasunach scholar
Baba pochlo mi ithe sukhrup, ata chalu zalay routine
Divsa nokri ratri classes, jivan zalay kathin
Pai n pai chi kaltay kimmat, ata nokri karat shiktoy
Kadhi hoyin MS ekda hyachich vaat baghtoy
MS zalo , milali Nokri, aai baba ata hasa
Arthik adchan sampli ata, dollar ne bhartoy khisa
F1 sampun hotoy ata H1 maza Visa
Green card hi hotach ki mag, don teen varshat sahasa
Sangtayat aai baba sarva lokanna tath theun collar
Mulga amcha Americela kamavatoy ata dollar
MS zalas, Dollar kamavles , ata parat ye tu ghari
Eka hatache don kar an ja mag maghaari
Bagh tuzya sathi pahilay mulgi, koknastha gori ani ghari
Disnyat sundar, wagnyat rubab an kamat tichya hushari
Ye re mula ata parat ye , parat ye tu ghari
Lagna shivay ahe tuzya yashachi kahani adhuri
Bolavtayt mala aai baba , pakdun mazi collar
Mhantayat saphalyachya mukutala lago sansarachi zalar
Evhdyat kay ho baba an aai, maze vayach zalay te kay
Tyat US madhe mi shrimanta bachelor mhanje dudhawarti saay
Kashta kele itke divas ata karu de ki jarashi muja
Pudhe Bayko yeta bandhana gheun swatanntryala dyachay ruja
Aai baba kaalji nako, theva tathach tumchi collar
Mulga tumcha ahe samajdar tyatun dollarwala scholar.
(US madhlya mulache aai baap)
gele US barachya bhavat,
padle donhi tower
mula aata dollar nako pan
aadhi saman aawar!!
(US return mulga)
aatta mala kalala
kitti mahan maza desh
US, UK zak marta ho,
aaple punech best!!!! EQUATIONS * SSC + HSC + BCOM + MBA = UNEMPLYOMENT
* An Idea + An Idiot = A Dot com.
* One Chinese gymnast = India's Gold Medal tally since 1896
* Sushmita Sen - 1.2 feet = Salman Khan.
* Special Effects in Shampoo ads = Special effects in Jurassic park.
* 4 weeks in Switzerland + London + New Zealand + Canada = 4 minutesong in Hindi movie.
* Ajay Devgan + cosmetic surgery + acting ability + personality +own
production company = Kajol
* Rona dhona x Bewafai x Badle ki aag = Your mum's favourite serials.
* Amitabh Bachchan - Mrityudaata + Kaun Banega Crorepati = A SUPERSTAR.
* Amitabh Bachchan + Jaya Bachchan - Talent = Abhishek Bachchan
* Any actor + Any actress + many movies = David Dhawan
* 1 smile + 32 teeth = Govinda
* 1 person - shirt = Salman Khan
* 1 person + straigh hair + unstraight walk = Sanjay Dutt
* 1 hand + 10 kg weight = Sunny Deol
* One engagement + Two weddings + Three wedding songs + Four hundred
Relatives + A house bigger than Buckingham Palace = One Sooraj Barjataya Film. Height of Mails HEIGHT OF ISOLATION:
Two persons sitting side-by-side using emails to communicate with each other.
HEIGHT OF COWARDICE:
Two persons fighting through emails.
HEIGHT OF HELPLESSNESS:
Receiving no emails for a week.
HEIGHT OF FRUSTRATION:
The email server being down.
HEIGHT OF CARELESSNESS:
Writing a love mail and doing a 'Send All.'
HEIGHT OF ACHIEVEMENT:
A person sending email to a girl wanting to become friends and getting a reply.
HEIGHT OF TIMEPASS:
A person sending email to himself
HEIGTHT OF EXPECTATION:
Sending Indian cricket team an e-mail, wishing them to win a match
HEIGHT OF REPETITION:
Forwarding an email to someone and receiving the same email forwarded back to you By some one in the receiving chain.
HEIGHT OF BROWSING:
U r swmming in the water tank and shout "F1 F1 F1 " instead of shouting "HELP" when u are unable to swim...
HEIGHT OF COLLAGE:
U submit project and its been selected in one ATTEMPT
HEIGHT of MY DOSTI:
I always mail u though u didn't. Pakistani Cricket Team After the defeat of Pakistani cricket team, the team members were not able to show their faces to people and they chose not to go in public and rather just pack up in hotel rooms.
Saeed Anwar could not resist for too long to be in UK and still not be able to go out shopping and have fun. So he disguises himself as a Sardaar and goes out.He meets a woman at the exit of the hotel who greets him "Hi Saeed Anwar!" Surprised for having been caught he comes back and makes himself up as a woman - in Burkha etc and goes out. Yet again - the same woman greets
him "Hi Saeed Anwar!".
Saeed Anwar comes back determined to give it yet another try with the make up of a Hippie wig and shorts etc. All in vain -the same lady catches him again and greets him "Hi Saeed Anwar!". Bewildered by now, he could not help asking, "How do you manage to recognise me each time?" and comes the answer, "shhh...stupid...I'm Waseem, your captain"!!! | |
